The Misery Map, the boring but necessary bit

We don't collect, store, or sell your personal data.

Your postcode

Used once, in your own browser, to match you to the nearest town in our dataset. It isn't sent to a server, saved anywhere, or looked at by an actual human. Once you close the tab, it's gone.

No accounts

No sign ups, no email capture, no passwords to forget. We don't know who you are and we're not trying to find out.

Basic analytics

We use Vercel Web Analytics to see anonymous page views — which pages get visited, roughly where in the world, that sort of thing. No cookies, no cross-site tracking, no advertising profiles. Your postcode never leaves your browser and isn't included in any of this.

The weather data

Illustrative, for entertainment purposes only. Sourced from Met Office averages, not live forecasting. Please don't use it to plan your wedding, your holiday, or anything involving a genuine outdoor commitment.

Sharing

The share buttons open WhatsApp, X, Facebook, or your phone's own share sheet. Once you leave our site, their rules apply, not ours. We're not responsible for what happens after that.

What this actually is

A joke website built on real weather data. Not a scientific instrument, not a government service, not a substitute for checking an actual forecast before you leave the house.

Yes, this is a real disclaimer. No, we don't know why either.

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